Tree tricky but incredibly important conversations to have with your boo sooner rather than later

What do we want it to look like if we do need to seperate?

The hard truth is that having children does put a strain on relationships and relationships do end. Figuring out agreements around financial support, living arrangements, devision of labour, custody arrangements, parenting values, communication and how you hope to treat each other well before things fall apart will provide a clear road map through the process well before you are in the heat of the moment, with tensions running high!

How will we respond to a mental breakdown, addiction or suicidal ideation?

The hard truth is that breakdowns happen, parenting can be overwhelming and triggering AF, and it can get really scary and the system can't always help. Meds and therapy aren't enough. Ask how will we create meaningful structures of care for everyone involved? What are the alternatives to institutionalisation? What will we do if the system fails us? What are our options?

Valuing mothering and care work.

The hard truth is that we live in a world that doesn't value mothers. Ask how will we challenge this in your home? Consider financial compensation that covers Super. Mothers should have access to their own money. Ask how will we ensure the Mother is resourced to live a full complex life within and beyond mothering?

How will we centre the emotional, spiritual, social needs of the Mother through every season.

Are we both prepared to do the work to tackle internalised and not so internalised misogyny?

You can bravely and boldly show up for these vulnerable conversation so that even when shit gets hard you can go

oftly oftly.